Ten Things You'll Hate About Me

1. I am a control freak. In addition to just being, well, a freak overall.
   
2. I am, in most likelihood, smarter than you. This manifests itself in a weird, ever-fluctuating mixture between street-smart and book-smart. You will not hate this but rather the fact that I am somewhat vain about it. As a byproduct of being smarter than you, I'm also going to be right much of the time. This will result in many opportunities to say "I told you so." Despite this I can "play dumb" with the best of them.
   
3. I have nice big firm knockers and I am not at all ashamed to use them to get what I want.
   
4. I have a juvenile streak. Irk me and I may send a pizza to your house.
5. I don't do "visual candy"--I don't own a webcam and we will have to be extremely close for you to get a pic. (The above pic isn't me.) If you send me pics of you I will probably do the cyberspace equivalent of smiling and nodding politely. I am stimulated by creativity rather than rippling abs. Nevertheless I am not at all ashamed of my looks or my body and you would have no complaints about it if I showed up in person to rock your world.
6. I can be the most vicious bitch you have ever met, if provoked in the wrong way. I can take and tolerate anything you might dish to me--but if you make the fatal mistake of hurting someone close to me, you will quickly find yourself wishing you'd never been born.
7. Everything in life I've learned, I learned from Sex and the City. WWCD/WWMD/WWChD/WWSD are regular algorithms in my thought process.
   
8. I can drink you under the table. And don't even think about getting behind the wheel afterward--I will lay you out cold with a tire iron before I let you get out on the road.
9. I'm a drama queen sometimes. Life is boring and mundane without at least a little drama.
   
10. Expect me to tell you what I think. This can include "you're acting like a fucking idiot" if you are. If you don't want to know, don't ask. (Most of the time I will probably let you know anyway. Given item #2, it's kinda like part of my job.)