If my life were a movie...

I tag *everyone*.

Who would be on the short list to play the part of you? Naturally I would love to have Angelina Jolie. If not then Charlize Theron. I'm also become somewhat partial to an adult film star by the name of Brandy Talore, who seems to share some of my features and build. If she would consider going mainstream, then let's have her people call my people! *giggle*

In a 15-second spot during a Super Bowl timeout, what would be the tagline for your movie? There would be thunder and lightning, heard and seen through an open window in a dark room. Then a sound of rain beating down, gradually becoming louder. As the camera pans, it becomes apparent that it isn't rain at all, but the sound of a shower. We can't see into the shower because it is all steamed up, but now we hear the sound of whimpers and moans increasing in intensity. Then the tagline: "SHE'S CUMMING--THIS SUMMER"

What genre would the movie be? Romantic comedy/action/adventure/erotic--The Wedding Planner meets 9 1/2 weeks meets Lara Croft meets 007.

What rating would be given by the MPAA? PG-13: Strong language, violence, gratuitous display of ample boobs and a scene or two of sexual content.

What rating would it draw from the critics? They'd lambast it. I wouldn't give a fuck.

Where would the story take place? It would begin in Minnesota, with many parts of the story taking place in Los Angeles, Chicago, New York and in a South American rainforest.

When would the story take place? "In the not too distant future". My vibrating egg would be high-tech and would fulfill about ten other neat functions--besides getting me off!

Who would have a cameo appearance? Gwen Stefani--and Angelina if she wants one. (Let's face it, her people ain't calling!)

Would there be a "calling card"? (i.e. Arnold--"I'll be back") In every sequel, there would be a tie-in with Starbucks! In one movie the heroine meets the agent at Starbucks to hand him the secret microchip she just stole from the high-security compound (She later learns that he is the bad guy--*after* he bones her, of course!) and in another she throws a scalding hot Starbucks latte on a villain to foil a bank robbery.

Does your character have any superpowers or extraordinary abilities? Um--she can have an orgasm from having her nipples sucked?

Nudity? Full frontal? Lots of boob shots!

Sex scene? Maybe two. The solo scene in the shower doesn't count against this total, does it?

Who would your love interest be played by? Vin Diesel

Would the viewers cry? Nope--no sappy stuff!

What memorable line or scene would embed itself into pop culture? (i.e. Jack Nicholson "You can't handle the truth!") There would be a scene where I am escaping out the window after the bad guys have shot up my condo, and I'm climbing down a rope in my bra and panties, and the thick rope is nestled between my breasts...

What *previous* pop culture references would show up in *your* movie? Oh, we have to somehow work a light saber duel in somewhere. Those are kewl.

Would your movie be a marketing device? (i.e. You've Got Mail--AOL) It would be the ultimate marketing device for Fredericks of Hollywood!

What would the closing scene look like? I would be walking away from fire and carnage, slightly banged up and of course my clothing would be torn and revealing. I would toss my UZI aside because all the bad guys have been neutralized--or so I think. The villainess whom we all thought was dead comes stumbling after me with a lead pipe with a blood-curdling yell. I turn around and whack her with a boob, then I walk off.

What song would play as the closing credits rolled? Silent Night by Bon Jovi

Can we expect a sequel? Maybe a direct to video, then perhaps a fairly lousy sitcom which is self-titled and lasts exactly one season. Then on to a talk show...

Feel free to copy to other blogs and fill in your own answers!